Here, but not really...

I never really knew what lonely was until my mom died. Suddenly, I'm alone in this world. Painfully, I push through life knowing the one who loved me to the greatest extent, no longer physically or mentally exists. She brought me hereand i struggle daily with the thought that I will never ever have anyone on earth love me like she did. Especially when I got to know her in my adult life. She truely adored me for the real me. It's not the same. My interests in life have swiftly changed.With a father never in the picture, only distant family members I can count on one hand, it hurts.They say family is number one, but what if you don't have one?

Soul on E

no sleep. eyes like softballs. food gone untouched. wastebaskets overflowing with crinkled Kleenex. in a daze. deep in a depression. mentally unstable. self-thoughts of futility. minus 20 pounds. walking zombie. oblivious to life. hysterical outbursts. sluggish. senseless to surroundings. brokenhearted. internal damage. puking nothingness. detached. she's never coming back.